Debate around the bottle on the baby birth gift list

Am I the only one who is shocked to see baby bottles in baby birth gift lists? Breastfeed is the most important way to feed for the first 6 months (and longer). Putting bottles on the list give me the idea that the mum doesn’t even try to give the breast…bottles should be decided afterwards (of course unless any problems mentioned by the doctor before birth)

That is what I wrote once on Facebook. Lost 4-5 friends with that statement and got a lot of people arguing it.

Well, I dont want to take the time to answer each one of them and I don’t feel like I have to defend myself on this.

But I can give you more explanation about it.

First of all, people who disagreed are mostly from the West, where work is very important and takes over family life. Living in eastern Europe opens the mind to the importance of family. I am very proud I got to learn that.

Second, I ain’t saying anything against the bottle fed. Of course it is a life saver. It is saving lives. My son included. But formula must remain a plan B. Breastmilk is free, and is the best to give to your baby. Each new mum should at least give it a try. It is important to bond and to build that close relationship with your child. It is different for each child. You need to try few days before knowing how you want to plan your feeding plans. If you choose formula, then why do you need a bottle before birth ? You’re gonna need to go to the shop anyway to buy the mil

In Belgium, as well as in Germany, mothers spend 3 days at the hospital. There they get all the care needed and can ask all the questions needed.

At home, I heard that in many western countries mothers don’t get the support needed, like a midwife coming every day. That is hard to change unless you have family around you.

Then that society tells mums to stay home 4 months and a week or so for fathers. I thought of myself. I can’t stay home only 4 months with such a little baby. I asked my mum and she told me she took a year for each of us. That made me so proud of her, because now I know that we can all do it if we want to. Still, many parents complain about their parental leave.

And here is where it bothers me a lot. People in general complain more than they act. If more of us would take the time we think is best, then the law will change. Only with acting for our own good first will make changes. Voting for the same big political parties won’t do that for you.

You need to dare to speak to your employer first, to see what could be the possibilities for you to enjoy your parenthood. Personally, I think a mum should stay home at least 6 months and a father at least 6 weeks.

Of course you feel like you have bills to pay and everything. Look further. Even around me where we have good parental leave, some parents struggle and manage. With more time, you spend less.

Everybody should keep the choice in mind for themselves so they wouldn’t blame their society for it.

Yet, only 25% of children in 2006-2012 were entirely breastfed the first 6 months in Europe, 13% in 21 of those countries, which is way below world health organization recommendations. It is so said that people don’t take their opportunity.

You know I am for staying at home the first year, or at least the first 6 months. Well, if everyone would would see their choices, I could understand better those women who choose to go back to work quickly.

I am aware that many people don’t think the way I do and are very upset with it. That’s okay. We don’t live in a world where everybody needs to agree with everyone. We only need to take the action we find best for ourselves and not because society says so. We are not sheep, we are the head of our micro society and we have to do the best for our children.

Summary of a discussion between Society and a mum

I have a problem with society. It tells me a lot of things to do as a mother that I don’t agree with.

First of all, in some countries, the maternity leave is restricted to few months only. In my home country, it is for 4 months only. After that, the baby still have a lot of sleep changes, food habits changing, milestones to reach. I can’t imagine not to follow all that.

For father, if they have a paternity leave, it is always less than 6 weeks. Why are those 6 weeks important to me? Where I live, it is recommended that the mother stays in bed for these 6 weeks following birth. Of course it is good to go out and walk. That time is mostly about resting and feeding your baby. So yes, we do need the father around, to put the baby to sleep, to take him out a bit, to cook, to clean, so we can focus on sleep and feeding (ourselves as well as the baby).

I am lucky, I gave birth and I am raising my kid in a very baby-friendly town of Germany. It actually has the highest birth rate! So we have plenty of help over here, like a midwife coming every day as long as needed. We can always contact her, even a year later.

So here, kindergarten starts much later, at around 1 year old. It does feel good to get back to having a life on your own! But, as they have more than one kid with different habits, they have to combine all that, meaning they all eat the same food and sleep at the same time.

Again, I am lucky, my baby eats everything. Well, depends on the day, but mostly. Only issue I have is with juice and syrup. Why don’t you simply give water? Well, we found a compromise on our side, which makes it alright for both of us. He’s having his water bottle next to the common cup.

Sleeping is an issue. Even if he is now nearly 15 months old, he still has his morning nap and afternoon. The rest of the day went great. At the kindergarten he must have only one nap after lunch. He can’t last.

I feel like it is such a society issue to tell us: “you must stay home that long; your baby must sleep during those hours”. We all have different need, we all need to grow differently. It is important to choose what is best for your child as a parent: which kindergarten he goes too, what food you offer him, and the activities you do with him. I am very happy with the kindergarten, I am only having a hard time with what “everybody” says.

10 reasons why I dislike the vegan diet

For those who are on my Facebook friends, they can see a lot of post against the vegan diet on my wall. Then, you have to scroll, look into the details and dig out the reasons why I dislike it. Well, let me make this clearer for you.

1. It’s a hype. Most of the vegans choose their diet for ethical reasons. Most of them is because they want “well being of the animals”. We’ll get back on that later. First, let me remind you this. 10 years ago, it was about being vegetarians for this exact same reason, and today some of those vegetarian became vegan. What changed ? Only the trend.
2. It is healthy for your body…or not. Okay, it can be healthy, if you vary your food a lot. You need to eat seed, nuts, bunch of fruits and veggies that you won’t always find at the supermarket. Some of them come from far away. It requires to inform yourself a lot and correctly to know which food you need to avoid any deficiency, perhaps even being followed by a dietician. Let’s be realistic, most of the common people don’t do that. And well, when you don’t, most likely your blood test will show you some food deficiency. Then one of the solution would be to give you some food complements. Well, when you can simply eat the correct food, why use science ?
3. It pollutes. Where do you think your exotic fruits and veggies come from ? Countries like in South America or Asia. The process to bring those in Europe pollutes a lot. If on the other hand you want to stay local, then you need to eat like local, with the meat and so on to remain healthy.
4. It kills animal. Ow you did not think about that one ? It kills humans too. The vegan diet becomes so trendy that companies remove entire forest to make cultivated land instead, killing thousands of animals home, poisoning the water that villager drinks….It also requires a lot of pesticides. I know, you could help yourself with the European label that show how organic is your product. Well, the label has been created to suit multinationals so even Nestlé can use it. It is also a lot of packaging (which send you back to the 3^rd) Let’s take an example: as a vegan it is great to have avocado into the diet, it has a lot of vitamins, and pretty much everything your body needs. Well, the business is so big now that workers are dying while plucking them, changing the shape of their trees to make it easier.
5. It is a luxury. Our society allows us to choose our diet. We have science to help us anyway. We have work at the office, transportation to get us there, a screen to entertain us…nothing that requires a lot of physical effort. On the other hand, if you go to a village, work outdoors in construction, then you need a better diet than that.
6. It is impolite. You surely met the situation where you are invited somewhere and ow, no vegan food so what. Your aunt forgot to skip the butter. So what, you don’t eat ? She still made a lot of effort to have you home for dinner…It is hard and sometimes a lost fight from the beginning to ask someone else to cook vegan for you. Bringing your own food is rude. There is no healthy reason not to eat your aunt’s dish.
7. The marketing around it is oppressive and aggressive. Vegan diet is a lobby on his own, with people wearing white masks on the street and showing images of animals getting killed in manufactures, besides all the tags around. This is what happen when you don’t know your source of you food, not when you eat meat. Seeing those people protesting like that just make me want to run away even more. Companies also take the diet as an advantage to add a vegan label on everything. Coca Cola is vegan after all, killing fish and humans.
8. It hurts the developments of children. Again if the diet is not followed properly, it can affect their growth. A Belgian study stated this. Also, during my maternity, I could learn that cow milk is actually the closest to human, that is why children still need it after breastfeeding. Of course you can give soy milk that has calcium in it…How what the calcium put in ? Ow, science, such a luxury choice.
9. God is science. Vegan can basically pray for science. It offers the food complement, add nutritious in the basic food, or create a fake meat just from a molecule so you can avoid gluten, animals food, and so on. This knowledge is only to offer us more choices and have a comfier life. We actually don’t need it, some people want it. Science employees could use their time and their knowledge for better life saving cases…
10. It kills the local employment rate. While you can afford to be vegan, the farm behind your house is not selling bovines anymore. The little family, living modestly and locally, can’t pay for the books needed for the school of their children anymore. On the other hand, the vegan diet give more shop to multinationals, shipment and more.