Summary of a discussion between Society and a mum

I have a problem with society. It tells me a lot of things to do as a mother that I don’t agree with.

First of all, in some countries, the maternity leave is restricted to few months only. In my home country, it is for 4 months only. After that, the baby still have a lot of sleep changes, food habits changing, milestones to reach. I can’t imagine not to follow all that.

For father, if they have a paternity leave, it is always less than 6 weeks. Why are those 6 weeks important to me? Where I live, it is recommended that the mother stays in bed for these 6 weeks following birth. Of course it is good to go out and walk. That time is mostly about resting and feeding your baby. So yes, we do need the father around, to put the baby to sleep, to take him out a bit, to cook, to clean, so we can focus on sleep and feeding (ourselves as well as the baby).

I am lucky, I gave birth and I am raising my kid in a very baby-friendly town of Germany. It actually has the highest birth rate! So we have plenty of help over here, like a midwife coming every day as long as needed. We can always contact her, even a year later.

So here, kindergarten starts much later, at around 1 year old. It does feel good to get back to having a life on your own! But, as they have more than one kid with different habits, they have to combine all that, meaning they all eat the same food and sleep at the same time.

Again, I am lucky, my baby eats everything. Well, depends on the day, but mostly. Only issue I have is with juice and syrup. Why don’t you simply give water? Well, we found a compromise on our side, which makes it alright for both of us. He’s having his water bottle next to the common cup.

Sleeping is an issue. Even if he is now nearly 15 months old, he still has his morning nap and afternoon. The rest of the day went great. At the kindergarten he must have only one nap after lunch. He can’t last.

I feel like it is such a society issue to tell us: “you must stay home that long; your baby must sleep during those hours”. We all have different need, we all need to grow differently. It is important to choose what is best for your child as a parent: which kindergarten he goes too, what food you offer him, and the activities you do with him. I am very happy with the kindergarten, I am only having a hard time with what “everybody” says.