The wrong feeling of Couch Surfing while being a girl

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Roberto Trombetta / Flickr
As girls, we use to hear guys saying that our gender has no problem to travel and to do CouchSurfing. Well, that’s not true. Probably they never got to feel what we do, and don’t dare to speak out.

 

Some of us prefer to be hosted only by girls for that reason. Others still try with guys like me. I had my first experience in London. I was traveling there a month, from Couch host to Couch host, and trying to work there. I am actually doing the same here in Hamburg.

In the U.K., I had 5 hosts, and had sex with 3 of them. This taught me how to behave now in Hamburg. Not that this is something bad, until you get protected all the time it’s fine, but this actually tell something about who you are and who you should be.

When you are a girl, you have this inside fight all the time. You have to choose between using what you are to get what you need, and limit yourself, to avoid to send the wrong message. Let’s say this, this what guys expect even if they don’t say it.

We have so many situations when we feel uncomfortable. Having sex with the host doesn’t help to feel better about that, or really, you like him, and he likes you the same. When a male is approaching you, offering a place to stay, you look more carefully at his profile than if it was a girl. Though, once you feel like it’s okay and got the first connection, it doesn’t feel totally right anymore but now you need him.

You start to analyze all his behaviors, to take distance and to think that he’s part of the guy looking for another sex story. From the time you get that, you think about how you behave. Personally, it gives me the feeling to hide myself under a hijab, so he wouldn’t get anything. This is not the case. With my well-shaped body and my long ginger hair, thanks to my parents, all I see I can do is to take a sip of my drink in front of me, and try to have it non-alcoholic.

Still, in this situation, you look through the eyes of the other to get to know what does he want, and then you get it and just hide yourself inside yourself. And when you ask the question “do you teach your son how to behave with girls?” he would just look away. I felt so mad inside me, and at the same time, I couldn’t yell at my host, neither could I express my feelings nor my stories about it. He’s a guy, like most of them on this planet, he has no reason to get to know your past experience.

This is why, when you travel with couch surfing while being a girl, you need first, to change your phone display for a photo of a guy friend, and make up the story of him being a boyfriend. Keep also few savings; so when you feel it won’t get any better, you can always go to a hostel. From there, you can look again for girl hosts instead.

And this is why, guys, you should behave and teach other guys to be honest and to stop doing that so, we, girls, can feel more comfortable in more situations.

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